Do you use equanimity? Does that word seem a little annoying or pretentious. Maybe the word is actually confusing things...So, what the hell is it, really?!
It's true; 🤣 everyone is like what the hell is equanimity?!" I know, I probably learned about it in a math class.
But, the concept of it is super simple. It means that you try to look at all of your emotions and states of being as equal. Trying to be mindful that you are a living being that will feel all the feels (as the kids these days say).
What equanimity guides you to do is to stop judging your feelings so much and allow yourself to go ahead and feel but understand that those emotions don’t have to take you over.
This really hit home for me when I was learning about how your brain processes memories. Lots of studies were done on memories post 9/11 because it was such a significant piece of our cultures memory narrative. These studies showed that without a doubt, memories are inaccurate and become increasingly so with time. Each time a memory is recalled neurons create new paths and connections and the story as you see it changes bit by bit.
We also know that all future thinking and story creation are both created from our past experiences and the neurological connections we have made.
SO - what does all of this mean?! Well to me, it was such a huge relief.
It meant that all the stories I was telling myself, about myself, are malleable. They can change. I didn’t have to be just “a hard worker” or “not a good listener”. If my very essence of who I was (my past memories and future thoughts) could and would change, then the potential to be ANYTHING actually exists.
Equanimity serves us in the same way. If I am happy now, I’ll live and be it, because I know that things shift and change. I also know that I have some control over seeing my emotions for what they are and understanding they are just a part of me right now...they don’t define me. I have the power to shift and change them. I see them for what they are, emotions that will change and pass, like ocean waves.
What equnimity guides you to do is to stop judging your feelings so much and allow yourself to go ahead and feel but understand that those emotions don’t have to take you over.
You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf.
------Jon Kabat-Zin